When your loved one stops being social.
Over the past few weeks, we have visited our daughter’s family in LA. Every minute was precious and filled with joy, but it can be very overwhelming for the stroke survivor and the Care Partner.
Due to their stroke limitations, participation in activities and conversations is a challenge. What I experienced – My husband sat back and did not participate but observed.
This was difficult because, as the Care Partner, I was either conversing with him or trying to explain his behavior. It is difficult to hear, “He has changed,” “Why doesn’t he talk to us?” or watch Rick and the family not interacting as before. I tell others, “He loves you all and is content sitting back and watching.” “Communication is hard for him.”
The feeling and realization that your loved one is slowly fading away from social situations is heartbreaking. At home, one-on-one, He does well; although limited, he can engage.
What causes this phenomenon, and what can you do to improve? As we have traveled and had more social events, I have developed some strategies that I felt helped and want to share with you.
What causes your loved one to “fade into the wall” at social functions?
Factors that can cause speech and understanding issues with your loved one.
Fatigue from a lack of proper sleep or time zone changes when traveling. When tired, the slurring of words appears unbalanced or confused, and he gets frustrated more easily. Since they are often tired, it’s best if you don’t stay too long.
Outside of their normal routine, that is a comfort level at home.
Others are not providing adequate time to form their thought, find the words and respond.
Excessive stimulation in the social situation, numerous conversations happening, television or music, and
Aphasia and impaired motor skills are two of the main reasons for communication issues.
Aphasia is the inability to communicate related to the damage to the brain.
This condition can affect the ability to understand what is being said to them or asked of them. Aphasia may also impact the ability to read, write, and deal with numbers.
Impaired motor skills can be seen as slurred or garbled speech due to muscle weakness, motor programming, and speech-muscle coordination.
What helps my loved one…
Be patient. Remember, they are still aware and understand their limitations and can feel frustrated or embarrassed with the changes to communication.
Eliminate distractions. The SS brain must process input, but focus is a challenge when there are multiple distractions, and the multiple inputs can cause confusion.
Keep questions simple. Form your questions that require a yes or no. Do not ask questions that require multiple answers (1 question = one answer). If you need a decision (where to eat), do not ask open-ended questions but provide a choice of two responses that you are happy with.
Keep commands and directions easy. Only provide one step at a time. Memory might be impaired, reminded of dates or times.
Speak in a normal tone of voice and speak directly to them, not others in the room. Speak one person at a time. Use gestures, pictures, or other nonverbal cues to help with understanding.
Do not rush the SS to answer questions or comments. Allow time for the SS to process the information and form a response. My loved one shared that organizing thoughts and responding properly takes several minutes.
Resist the temptation to answer questions for them. This can be hard, but it is so important that you allow them time to gather their thoughts.
For more information on what worked for us, check out “Stroke and the Spouse” available on Amazon or follow the code below to purchase.
Stroke Caregiver Connection…Because you care!