Stroke and the Spouse - Be the first to know!
Good Morning,
When Rick had his stroke last year, I began this journey along side of him. We have had good days and bad days but sharing my journey has helped me but also allowed me the opportunity to help others.
I am a novice writer and blogger, but when my life turned upside down, I knew that I needed and wanted to share so that others could have an easier path. This journey has allowed me to grieve, cry but also find joy. When I share with you, I am also able to heal me as well.
My book “Stroke and the Spouse” started as a journal of my feelings and soon developed into a workbook of experiences, support, resources, tools and a guide to help you or someone you love deal with the change in their life.
The book is in the final stages and will soon be available for purchase. I am hoping to have the book available this summer. If you would like to be on the preorder a copy, please provide your email on the home page.
What you can expect.
Now that I have completed the writing portion of “Stroke and the Spouse”. I am now able to focus on providing weekly Wednesday updates to all of you. The previous post provided an example of what resources, thoughts and support provided.
Within the next two weeks, the resource page will be open for you to browse and order tools that will help you along your journey.
Book Sample
Chapter One: Something is very Wrong.
Journey from Stroke through ICU
Something is very wrong; those four words changed my life from a spouse to a Caregiver and took me on a journey that I was not prepared to handle or didn’t want to handle. I had plans for my future, and it did not include caregiving.
When my husband, Rick, walked in from the garage stumbling and a bit confused, I was sure that his blood sugar was low. Looking back, I realized that denial and fear can play tricks on your thinking. As his arms flapped uncontrollably, I realized what was happening, and I made the dreaded 911 call that I never wanted to make.
“Get here quick, my husband is having a stroke!”
The operator needed details on what I was observing and other questions. To this day, I am not sure what the operator asked. All that I knew was I needed help quick. Within minutes, the paramedics arrived and minutes later they were racing away with Rick toward the hospital. As I stood in the driveway, emotions flooded in. Would this be our last day together? Why is God doing this? What the hell is happening? My heart was racing, my stomach was in a knot, and tears streamed down my cheeks. I will never know hHow I made it to the hospital in one piece I will never know. I now believe that God was with me, even though I was so angry at Him.
Fumbling and stumbling—that was me. I tried to call family and friends but and my mind and fingers just would not work. Finally, I reached out to my best friend and my children. There was something about articulating saying what happened that made it real. At that moment, I realized life had changed and there was no going back to before. It would divide our life into “before the stroke” and “after the stroke.”
The ER
Within twenty minutes of the stroke, Rick was in the emergency room being treated by the stroke team. During those first few hours, I was in and out of Rick’s emergency room, updating friends and family. Meanwhile, Rick was being evaluated frequently by being asked questions regarding people, places, and time.?
We were never alone to communicate privately, so we relied on but with non-verbal cues and attempts at humor to downplay this crisis. As I walked into the room, the team asked Rick, “Do you know who this woman is?” Without a pause, He answered, “I have never seen this woman in my life.” The staff looked at each other in panic. I knew it was Rick’s way of telling me he was still with me. “Knock it off,” I said, and told the staff he has a terrible sense of humor. Only Rick and I saw the humor. Prior to his stroke, this was his normal sense of humor, so when he said this, I knew that not all hope was lost, and that part of his personality was still intact.
Rick was getting the care he needed and was the primary concern, but I was in shock and really did not know how I functioned or if I functioned those first twenty-four hours. As I watched him cling to life, all I could do was pray and question everything I had missed. I am a nurse; how did I miss that he could have a stroke? What caused this? He cut the grass that morning. What if he doesn’t survive? What if he does?makes it? WAnd what kind of care will he need?
Over the next few weeks, Rick was in the intensive care unit fighting for his life. Because of COVID restrictions, they limited visitors to two. The kids took turns, but it was a hard time juggling my full-time job, ongoing medical decisions for Rick, providing information to family and friends and attempting to prepare the family for what was ahead.
Friends and family bombarded me with, “What do you need? How can I help?” Honestly, I was so overwhelmed, I did not know what I needed other than someone to turn back time. T. If someone could turn back time, that would have been very helpful.
Who am I?
As a nurse and case manager for more thanover thirty years, I thought I was well-equipped they would well equip me to handle any health crisis my loved one experienced. I have helped many patients and families over the years make that transition from their crisis to home. But I learned that when it happens to you, all that you think you know goes out the window. This is a unique experience that you alone will experience, but I have discovered real life solutions that can help you avoid the pitfalls, and can offer that perspective, with the bonus of a nurse’s lens. You are not alone and no matter how you are feeling, that is ; it is exactly what you should be feeling. have felt.
New Role
Someone in the United States has a stroke every 40 seconds. Every 4 minutes, someone dies of a stroke. Every year, more than 795,000 people in the United States have a stroke and 795,000 Caregivers are born. When Rick experienced his stroke, so did I.
As I sat by his bedside and watched the flurry of activity around him, I wondered about my “new role.” As a nurse, I could advocate for his care and ask questions. But as his wife, I was hungry for any positive tidbit on his progress. That, unfortunately, was hour to hour, as well as an up and down journey.
Life works in funny ways. I am a big fan of the show “Criminal Minds,” a show focused on serial killers. I know it is weird, but it’ is my guilty pleasure. One morning, after the tenth CT scan looking for issues, my daughter entered the room all excited. “Mom, guess what? In the next room, they handcuffed a man to his bed and a police officer is guarding his room. This could be a dream come true–a serial killer and a crime you could help solve.” I could not get to the hall fast enough to casually asked the police officer, “So hey, I see you are guarding someone. Do you think he is a serial killer? I could help, I watch Criminal Minds.?”
Yes, I had lost my mind, but when you have not slept or eaten, this is what you do. I really cannot put into words the look I received from the officer, but I bounced back into Rick’s room and stayed put. Looking back, I know I could have solved the mystery of this crime.
Although my life has come to a halt and living moment by moment, the world continues, bills need to be paid, decisions made, and the feeling of being alone without your loved one being able to take part is heart breaking.