He has changed BUT he is still able to do…(fill in the blank)

Hello all,

Many things have changed over the last few years. So many activities I took for granted on a daily basis now need additional help to accomplish. Prior to the stroke, I could count on Rick for house repairs, being my partner on outings, talking over the days events and traveling. Life still continues and we still can enjoy many activities but it is different and need to planned or initiated by me.

For months on end I would focus on what no longer existed in our life and remained angry and frustrated. These feelings when not dealt with are exhausting. How did I move past this? With the help of a therapist that taught me the proper use of the word BUT.

Whenever I would hear a statement followed by BUT, I knew that the statement prior was negated. For example: “She has a pretty face BUT could lose a few pounds” This is not the best use of the word BUT.

What I learned and want to share is how I now use to word BUT as a positive source in my life. For example; Something that Rick is no longer able to do followed by BUT what he can do.

Rick no longer enjoys eating out, being unable to enjoy or taste food BUT he agrees to go out anyway with friends and myself and never complains.

Once I started to look what he could do after the BUT, I started to feel more at peace and focus on the ,positive that we have in our life. The other lesson I am learning is if he or I need help, I ask myself, who can help?

We can no longer move large or heavy objects alone BUT we have family and friends that would love to help. JUST ASK!

The bottom line: Look at the BUT in your life and how can you turn that around?