Caregiver versus Care Partner
You have been caring for a loved one (LO) for a day, week, month, or more than a year and you are unsure how you got into this spot and how long will it last. When your LO became ill and needed care, many individuals offered to help but as time progressed, they returned to their lives and you are now the caregiver full-time. You love this person, that is not the issue but you also need a caregiver for yourself.
Being a caregiver can be both rewarding and challenging at the same time. Once Rick and I moved to the phase of long-term adjustments, my role became that of a Care Partner.
The Difference Between Care Partner and Caregiver
Caregiver
Role: Stepping into the shoes of a caregiver means providing hands-on healthcare and assistance. It's about attending to daily tasks, ensuring medication routines, aiding in mobility, and sometimes, doing things that the other person could once do independently.
Relationship Dynamics: It’s undeniably a role where you're giving a lot, often placing the needs of the other before your own. It can sometimes feel like a one-way flow of energy, especially when the weight of the responsibility feels immense.
Identity: Many of us, as caregivers, find ourselves so immersed in this role that it starts to shape our identity, consuming significant slices of our time and emotional bandwidth
Care Partner
Role: As a care partner, I've realized that while I'm still offering assistance, I'm doing it with him, alongside him. It’s not just about care—it's about collaboration. It's about walking this journey of recovery hand in hand.
Relationship Dynamics: It's a dance of mutual respect and shared decision-making. Even though my husband's mobility and capabilities were altered, his voice, insights, and desires remain just as vital.
Identity: Adopting the term "care partner" has given us a sense of empowerment. It signifies that, even in adversity, we’re in this together, side by side.
It seems just a new name for an old one but it is also a change in mindset. When I decided that we were partners and not just caregiver, I was open to additional support and ideas to help improve both of our lives long-term.
Your LO may not be able to participate as the care partner but a friend or family member could be your second in charge.
What Helped Solidify this Role
As discussed in a previous blog, I adopted the BUT attitude. Many tasks or discussions, he is not able to fully participate in BUT many things, he can.
We can discuss an event or help needed and he is excited and wants to participate and then forgets BUT if I make a weekly list, review with him, and have him write the list, the task or the event happens. I am no longer frustrated and he feels more in control.
If LO can’t: Make a monthly list of what needs to be done, doctor's appointments, and time away for you. Send out an email to family and friends asking for support. You will be surprised, they want to help but are not sure how, but if you give them a task and time, you get a better response. The family can’t be 24-hour care BUT they can help some.
Caregiver/Care Partner Support Group - Join a group in person or on Zoom
Our support group will accept members beginning September 1. You are not alone and the following topics are discussed confidentially.
Why don’t my siblings help?
I am exhausted and burned out
What resources are available?
Discuss your life change and your day-to-day trials
You’re invitation to join the support is right around the corner.
Watch the website for updates!